my past

an nyong! hee.. again i greet u all with han guk.. fine.. assalamualaikum.. ^^

hari ni tiba tiba baiti teringat cerita lame.. ceh nostalgiknye.. heee.. yess im that kind of person.. i believe history make who am i today.. so i cannot forget it.. hee..

This evening I though just want to take a nap.. fine I know its not good.. my ayah always scold me about this.. hee.. but ottoke? I love something that not healthy.. ^^ sambung cerita.. then I dreamed about my past.. something that I really want to forget.. hmmmm? Tadi kamu bilang sejarah itu enggak mungkin dilupakan.. tapi sekarang mahu? Heee.. these past what make who am I today.. a mean person.. lets the story begin..

The story begin when I was in standard 4.. that was long long time ago.. heee.. this guy I know since I was in standard 3.. and it takes 1 year for me to like him.. and since that i always like him.. yup only him.. heee.. and it almost 2 years I like him.. unbelieveable huh? That was the first time and maybe the last time I have ever like a guy so much.. ^^ then I proposed him.. ever u guys doing this? I challenge u guys try it out.. it fun.. but siusly u need a lot of strength.. to face him and surrounding.. he maybe reject u.. like what this mr.R done to me.. or ur friends.. siusly it gonna be a huge gossip in ur school.. everybody will know about this.. maybe even mok cik cleaner pon akan tahu.. ala macam dalam playful kiss.. heee.. every single of my friend asked me.. familiar ques was.. weh awak x malu ke? And I don’t know why this was my answer.. napa pulak saya nak malu? Siti khadijah pon propose kat nabi Muhammad apa.. ceh hebat x? semua kawan kawan baiti cakap.. wow boshita!! Means coolnye.. heee.. im some sort of legend la time tu.. ceh perasan gila.. heee.. tapi baru sekarang baiti tahu laki tu sangat jahat.. memberitahu apa yang perempuan tu rase kat die untuk pengetahuan satu sekolah.. sangat x jujur.. tapi satu la.. lelaki melayu memang biasa macam tu kan.. bagitahu kat semua.. supaya semua cakap wow ade orang admire kau.. hee.. Childish!! ^^

Then I stop to like him.. well at first it was hard.. same school.. almost 12 hours per day I spend with him.. sama sekola kebangsaan and agama.. so it really hard.. but thanx to mr.A for coming in my life.. we start as bestfriend.. very bestfriend! Hee.. then that day come.. the day I fall for him.. it was a normal school day.. mr.A pencil box missing.. then spotcheck dijalankan.. tapi kami sendiri yang check beg sendiri sendiri.. tapi x jumpa.. suddenly this one boy said to me.. cuba check bawah meja awak betul betul.. then baiti pon check la.. yess it was under my table.. am I a thief? Am i that bad? Yess im not that rich but baiti x batak pon dengan barang orang lain.. da cukup ape yang ayah beri kat baiti.. I don’t know who the hell doing that.. at first yeah.. then I find out.. such a b*tch boy! Siusly sampai sekarang baiti x dapat maafkan die.. sebab lepas tu.. I was humiliated by mr.A mom.. she was my English teacher.. she called me to her class.. and yelled at me because of my bad writing.. dia campak buku baiti.. and that’s not enough.. she pinch my stomach.. everybody in that class watching it.. why she so angry while it only a small matter? About my writing? Huh nope! Mr.A is her lovely only son.. such a horrible day.. but i didn’t cry.. then the limit comes.. I can stand it out loud when everybody doesn’t belive me.. but even he doesn’t believe me.. huh! he asked why I did that.. if I want something just tell him.. huh! Am I that low? Then I cried.. I cried a lot.. and I yelled to him.. aku x batak la dengan ko punye pencil box tu.. aku x tahu macam mane bende tu bole ade kat situ.. then baiti kayuh basikal laju laju.. die kejar and pujuk baiti.. esoknye die gaduh dengan budak yang kenekan baiti.. how come I didn’t fall? Pabo? Maybe.. ^^

Start to like him.. then I know he act like my friend.. not only friend.. my best girlfriend! Huh.. but I never said anything aqbout what I feel.. I just support him.. give advices.. telling my friend he such a good boy.. I feel really stupid back then when.. I fought with my girl friend and he asked me to befriend with her back.. and guys I do it.. amazing huh? Yeah I had been fooled by love once.. I know what it feel.. ^^ so tell me about love.. how u hurt by it.. I understand it so much.. well because of mr.R, mr.A and the boy that put mr.A pencil box.. I had been hurting so many heart that sincerely loved me.. miyanae guys.. it happen that way because I were only trying to protect my heart.. I know this way is wrong.. but this is the only way I saw.. ^^

p/s : mr.R want to be my boy that day.. but because he had someone else he needs to reject me.. that what he said.. that boy.. ala the pencil box guy.. he never had courage to look at me till now.. u know u were wrong ryte.. I will forgive u.. but not now, tomorrow or next year.. ^^ mr.A act know what exactly I feel.. but he never ask me about that.. hee.. such an amazing life.. never regret because there no medicine for that.. ^^ have a nice day guys!