memory makes me wonder ^^

my ate michiko sent me a text just now..

"hey kawan! hargai lah mereka yang menyayangi mu.. jangan menyesal seperti aku"

that advice made me cry so much.. lately i've been feeling lost.. i wonder why? hmm bcause my gem gem not here? or my best chingu not here? or i'm missing someone soo much? argh molla! i really hate this feeling.. i feel uneasy and sensitive.. yeah! if something doesnt happen the way i want.. i cried so much..

like that text.. the word menyesal make me.. hmmm remember someone.. the text is refering to mr daim.. hmm choc daim.. but the word menyesal made me though about somebody else.. hmm who? i think i love him so much.. and that the reason why i hurt so much.. the day we spent together is something that i treasure so much! and the second that he hurt me.. i will never forget.. he meant a lot for me..

because of that second i take almost a month to forgive him.. that the other second come.. and another second.. i think only 3 second.. it takes me 2 years to forgive and not to forget.. if people say it feel like a knife stabbed in ur heart.. for me its not.. it feel like a broken glass is scratch all over my heart.. and the broken glass remain there.. then the glass will never leave my heart.. hmm to make sure that i didnt forget it..

that what i thought.. tehee.. now we become best friend.. and my feelings? sometimes i forget i was being hurt by him.. and now forget is something i need? nooo! he was hurt by me too.. so we kinda competing with each other.. hey darl i hope u have a beautiful relationship with her.. hey no matter how busy u arewith ur own life.. i know i am in ur heart.. why i'm so sure? because i were there before and it gonna remain there foerever.. it my promise.. remember? tehee<3

p/s; ate daim is someone that loves me so much but he is control maniac! urgh freaky?! my second bff i write my name there with my own blood so it will never erased by anybody except me.. freaky? theat ur punishment for hurting me last 4years!! <3

hopes

hmm missing my lil sis so damn much.. that what i can conclude now.. my life is kinda messy right now.. i wake up late and awake till late night.. one sentence please! life is soo great to be regret and enjoy it babe! yeah!

aaarrggghhh!! wahai semangat datanglah kepadaku!! aku amat memerlukan kamu saat ini.. ^^

[110626] HD | 2PM - Like A Movie + Hands Up [Inkigayo Comeback Special S...

[M/V] 2PM "HANDS UP" from HANDS UP

new song,, new style and new beat!! but the same group!!

who is that? it 2PM!!
yeah they back with their new album.. the second album..
and i fall in love again and again!!

i love the music
i love the outfit
i love them so much!
so guys let party!!
put ur hands up!!

their comeback is this friday (cant wait to see their lives).. 24 june 2011.. and it beacome more special because it nichkhun birthday!! saengil chukahae oppa and good luck 2pm oppa!! fighthing!^^

deal or no deal

it's hard to compete with your guy first love right? especially the really really good one.. well something like wow awesome! huh! ^^

for me it not that hard.. hehe.. sounds like i used to deal with it? haha.. no la.. the thing that makes it harder is.. urself! why urself?

well u the one that doesnt belive in him.. doesnt believe in urself.. yeah it true it hard to believe in guys loyalty.. somehow u the one with him right now not 'she' that first love.. eventhough she always reminds u about how great their first love..

huh?! like i care.. but it gonna be bad also if u pretend that u okay.. because ur relationship will never okayh! so have a talk with him.. ask him from heart to heart.. nice idea? of course! tehee..

well i never dealt with this first love thing guys.. but i had been someone first love.. am i proud? well yeah of course!! how i cant? because he also my first love.. u know something like butterflies in ur stomach.. hee.. i'm not going to tell about him today.. maybe tomorow.. or the next day.. ^^

girls when u have something to dealt with ur boys.. first thing first is calming urself.. no calm no talk.. is just gonna be a cat fight or maybe third world war.. who know? ^^ second thing is let learn being a good listner of explanation.. then being rational in thinking.. easy? not so easy babe.. believes me.. ^^

past and future

u must let go the past
so that the future can comes into it place

really? then if u cant then the future is not a future? it not going to become a good future maybe? or ur life is in danger? ^^

is not easy to let go the past.. well it is easy when u are saying it.. but to be done.. hmm not that easy.. maybe it gonna to hurt u and people around u..

past can be happy and sad.. if it sad we need to let it go? if happy not? how about that happy moment is something that gonna hurt someone else?

hmm life is not easy.. but living is so much fun and amazing to let it past.. ^^

matrik?

finally i'm here.. well again.. after a few weeks gone.. hee.. just need time to settle down my last day at cfs iium.. i think that the best ever path that i choose? hee.. what up guys? having fun during the semester break? me? huh look like it gonna be a bit boring..

why? and why? well i supposed to have fun this break with my luvly gem gem.. having a cup of cofee? (oh classy! ).. or maybe dancing OH! by snsd ( siusly it is amazingly alot easier than i thought).. but it turns out NOT! my luvly lil is now gone tooo? i think a bit far from me.. because i was forced not to visit her..

then again.. why and why? hee.. the big head of the instituition that she belong to right now strictly prohibited us( the family member ) to visit her.. well where is the instituition?

kolej matrikulasi melaka.. at first when i know she got there.. woah! i love it.. it gonna be awesome! yeah and it turns out fascinating in her life now.. u know melaka is a big state now.. so i thought when she got there.. i'll be visiting her right? so it maybe turns out into a vacation? wow! who knows? tehee..

act the important thing is i'm proud of her.. well not just because this reason.. but because who she is.. why did i say this? during my time ( ceh start to talk like u so much older? ) when i heard the word matrikulasi.. wow! sound like awesome and harsh.. well i mean awesome in other way of saying like 'awesome' ( with hands).. tehee.. dont u feel the same way? for me matrik sound hard and no fun? yeah that what i feel.. thank God iium choose me as one of their student.. ^^ i proud that she choose something that she never thought.. and how hardworking she is to get it..

it because at first she doesnt got any offer to further her study.. she cried.. a lot actually.. well eventhough she doesnt tell me.. i know her feeling very very well.. i've been through exactly the same thing.. u know when everybody says.. 'u deserve this because u dont study'.. HAHA! like u know me better? huh! so she stand up for what she believes.. which is second chance? then there she is.. at the matrik.. i'm proud of u babe!

p/s: babe when u home i'm going to cook something special for u and fighting.. and well if there any grammar mistake.. can u help me? hee.. ( band 3)

friendship~

frienship needs a lot of gives and takes..
that what i relise now..
if u the only one gives
and he / she only one takes, feeling nothing..
there is something wrong with that friendship..
either u too kind or he / she heartless..

u give up everything to make he / she happy?
u give up ur heart feeling so that the friendship last long?
u give up telling ur feeling so that he / she can smile more?

it wonderfull..
but only for a few years..
and suddenly u burst!
everything gone..
believes me.. ^^

and my friends it okay u hurt me..
but i am sorry if i cant forget what u did.. ^^

p/s; please appreciate more what u have.. i am afraid when u relise u lose it.. u are alone.. act this post is for me.. who doesnt know how to appreciate.. tehee..

i am?

'i am an ordinary girl'
that what people always said
and i was one of them

i am an ordinary girl
which full with imagination
which always feel insecure for small thing
which love my family more than anything
which love to talk about korean
which easily 'perasantan'

i admit all of that
and maybe many more

i had a lot of weakness
such as i am not a good talker
i am not good in concertrating
i am not a good lover in many ways

but beside this weaknesses
i have something that .....
for instance?
i am a sweet talker
i am a good listener

p/s; that what i though for this few months.. ^*